Tag Archives: experience

Good catch?

19 Jan

That is what was suggested to me recently. I have also had other comments along similar lines. You know, do you have a partner? Why not? It has made me seriously consider how I should respond to these questions.

I don’t do intimacy, particularly the emotional kind. Some of this comes from my parents example. I could not name Dad’s best friend and while I could name Mum’s, there was no evident sharing of things that I would expect of that type of friendship.

I have had acquaintances that I have shared experiences with, I have even been married and had another 2 year relationship. What I have always found is that these people are not worthy of the trust required to have that emotional intimacy. I had it during my marriage but when things started to go wrong, he would raise these matters as reasons. This has been the enduring memory of all shared intimacy, when things get difficult, they are just thrown in my face. Therefore, why would I volunteer these things at any time?

So, how do you answer these questions without being offensive? No one is worthy? No one is to be trusted?

I see and have had relationships break down where assets are divided. Well, I have worked for and earned all I have and don’t feel inclined to share it in this way again.

Knowing all of this still does not help me to politely answer the question. I will just have to give it more thought.

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A Different Way With Mince

10 Aug

Cooking day has come around again for me and I don’t feel like spag bol but I have mince ready to cook. So, I pulled out my recipes to see what I could find.

While I don’t have all the ingredients, I did find one I can easily change to use ingredients I do have. This is what is great about cooking. Experimenting with what is in the pantry. The children may have suggestions, or you may be able to draw on some experience.

So, I have chosen a dish that includes pasta. It is simple and cooked on the stove top. 500g mince (5 serves), 2 onions chopped, 2 rashers bacon (don’t have, replace with bacon stock or finely chopped ham) can tomato soup (don’t have, replace with crushed tomato), 1 1/2 cups water (substitute 1/2 cup for red wine if you like), 1 beef stock cube, 1/2 tsp mixed herbs, seasoning, 1 cup macaroni.

In large pot cook onion and bacon, add mince and brown. Pour off excess fat. Add tomato, water, stock, herbs and seasoning. Cook covered 20-30 mins.

I use a Tupperware pasta cooker to cook macaroni, drain and add to pan, stir through.

Enjoy with some steamed broccoli or beans for colour.

This is an easy recipe to change. If you think you have one that could be changed but not sure, send it to me and I will give it a go.

Mood and Food

8 Jul

It is interesting how we respond to moods. I have been feeling a little blue today and as the day progressed I found myself looking for comfort which I usually seek in food. I thought about what I wanted and decided I didn’t have it so would bake it. I pulled out Mum’s recipe book because those foods ensure comfort, don’t they?

I whipped up one of Mum’s cakes, not knowing what it would look like but as I took it out of the oven I thought “I remember that!” It wasn’t the cake that Mum makes, it flopped in fact and I will have to talk to her about why but I could still eat it and proceeded to do so.

Now, this was supposed to make me feel better and it did to a point. The problem with doing this of course is that if you have regular blue periods and eat to cheer yourself up then weight problems will follow.

So, what do we do after we have had a bit of a binge? Just get back to your regular diet. There is no need to starve yourself or detox or cleanse, none of those will help and do your body more harm. I have found that by losing the guilt over a binge and going back to eating normally that I have less frequent binges and my weight is actually fairly stable. Give it a try.

obesity

2 Jul

Again obesity is in the headlines, an epidemic. I blame the multi million dollar industries of diet and junk food.

It is not necessary to be on a strict diet to have a healthy weight. “Junk” food is not your enemy. Most of us enjoy a potato chip or a cream cake and there is nothing wrong with that unless…..you eat it all the time.

In this day of instant gratification we all believe we can have what we want when we want it. Well, that doesn’t work. If you want to have your cake and eat it too then you are not going to look like a movie star.

I blame the baby boomers again, the belief that indulgence is good. This era is coming to an end and we are swinging back to a time of frugality. We can no longer afford to indulge ourselves every day. Cut back to once a week and it is ok for now. It will save you money and help control weight at the same time.

If you cut back on what you eat then you can fit into last years wardrobe.

Now I am not in the position of being able to preach on this. I have always been a bit pudgy, been on many diets, had my weight see-saw. I still struggle to keep it down but I know how to do it now and if I decide to lose some weight then I know what to do and it is easy to do.

To start take 1/2 of what is on your plate and put it aside for tomorrow and finish with an apple. Then alcohol is a big one. For effective weight loss this is gone for the duration. Try soda water or mineral water with some lemon juice. It is all about fresh. Fresh fruit, fresh vegetables. NO processed foods, this includes hamburgers, chips, cakes and biscuits. The easy one for me is soft drink or soda. I don’t drink it at any time, I don’t like it so don’t miss it. I would like to be able to tell you how to achieve this but don’t recall other than two things, it is full of petroleum and expensive, both of which I avoid.

You don’t need to look like a movie star but you don’t want to look like a sumo wrestler either. Good health means a healthy weight, healthy heart and a longer life.

Now, go back and look at my recipe tips and start enjoying your food, it is your friend now so you don’t want to abuse it.

advice

16 Jun

Sometimes I give really good advice. This is usually when my brain is working in beta, the only problem with that is that my beta brain seems to have no link to my memory. I know at the time that the advice is really good but later I cannot remember what I said.

My brother once asked me to meet him for lunch. This was the only time this had ever occurred, so was special. It turned out he wanted my advice. I am divorced and he was asking me about it, whether I was glad, happy or regretful. I talked about the things that I did regret being having no one who knew my history, to share stories with, who understands you better than anyone else and how you  need to compare this with what you might have after. Also, how will it affect your relationship with your children? They might end up living with the other parent and you might never see them. They might be angry at you for leaving.

Passion is not the emotion to base this decision on. Do you like each other? Being friends is the most important thing. Passion comes and goes and comes again. If you can continue to talk to each other, share experiences etc, maybe use the children as a buffer if you are struggling to communicate then passion will return from time to time. I believe the important thing is to evaluate your relationship with these factors in mind, then decide what you really want.

Sisters

8 Jun

Last week I was remembering an incident where I found myself caught in the  middle of a disagreement between my mother and her sister. It was during a conversation about sisters where I stated that I have no understanding of how sisters relate or the dynamics of that relationship.

You guessed it, I was the only daughter. I have three brothers so they have the brother thing going on which is different again from the brother/sister thing.

What bothers me about all of this is that I feel like I missed out on something. I know that I am not the only person who has this relationship but that makes no difference to how I feel.

While my parents did there best and believe they did what is right, I was treated differently to my brothers. They were allowed to be boys, join in the fun, go on camps etc. I was not allowed to go on camps, go to after game events, even choose my own friends.

Of all my cousins, only one other has no sister but her brother also has no brother. We saw little of these growing up. The ones I spent time with were sisters, I always felt like an outsider and that really hasn’t changed.  The person I feel closest to these days is my sister in law. You guessed, she too has a sister.

Where has this left me? I was left with no one to talk to. My parents were not of the touchy feely kind, so I am very protective of my personal space.

So, what am I trying to say is that my environment has made me what I am. I am unable to love someone else more than myself. I struggle to think of others first. My first impulse is to please me, do what I want. I don’t like that about me. I am trying to change that by joining a service club and volunteering.

It is not that I am unaware of being better off than so many others, it is not that I don’t know others need help, it is that I am not fitted to do what is required. I have poor social and communication skills so interacting with them would not help them.

This is something I have to live with and I just wish I had a best friend to express this to as she would tell me what assets I do have that I might contribute.

 

Exercise

4 Jun

This is a follow on to “ennui”. It is a solution worth considering. I have stated that I have some structure in my day now and am looking for some work to complete it. In the mean time I still have some time on my hands. I tell people that I can give help if they want but no-one believes me. The thinking is if they are busy, so is everyone else.

So, when I woke this morning I knew that I had a fairly empty day. To fill it up I decided I would go for a walk. I have been for a few around the neighbourhood and found some pleasant places, today was a bit further as I had more time.

It helps when the sky is blue and the sun warm. I would be very reluctant if it was grey and windy so there is another solution to this. Wii! Yes, I have it and the fit program can be quite entertaining. I sometimes take a walk/jog and sometimes ride the bike.

The point is that I have no excuse to not exercise. I feel good when I do because it releases endorphins and I know I have done something good for me. It also entertains, I see something different each time I go out, walk a different street or just see a pretty flower that was not in bloom before.

Therefore I am promising myself that I will exercise whenever I am feeling bored. No more ennui for me.