Tag Archives: excuses

Good catch?

19 Jan

That is what was suggested to me recently. I have also had other comments along similar lines. You know, do you have a partner? Why not? It has made me seriously consider how I should respond to these questions.

I don’t do intimacy, particularly the emotional kind. Some of this comes from my parents example. I could not name Dad’s best friend and while I could name Mum’s, there was no evident sharing of things that I would expect of that type of friendship.

I have had acquaintances that I have shared experiences with, I have even been married and had another 2 year relationship. What I have always found is that these people are not worthy of the trust required to have that emotional intimacy. I had it during my marriage but when things started to go wrong, he would raise these matters as reasons. This has been the enduring memory of all shared intimacy, when things get difficult, they are just thrown in my face. Therefore, why would I volunteer these things at any time?

So, how do you answer these questions without being offensive? No one is worthy? No one is to be trusted?

I see and have had relationships break down where assets are divided. Well, I have worked for and earned all I have and don’t feel inclined to share it in this way again.

Knowing all of this still does not help me to politely answer the question. I will just have to give it more thought.

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Giving in to the Illness

28 Aug

I did it. Having a touch of gastro, then a mild cold, I spent three days over the weekend volunteering at an event assisting with parking. After that I gave in to the illness and spent a day in bed. It did the trick and I was feeling better, though not like blogging or even cooking.

Following that the week passed in a bit of a blur. Now we are into another week and I am feeling more in the pink. Thus I did cook again, just a simple dish as that is all I felt like.

Stewing or chuck steak, thinly sliced pieces about 2 inches across, layered in a casserole dish. Add sliced onion, crushed garlic, herbs as desired, some red wine and a can of crushed tomatoes. Bake for 1 hour and enjoy with your choice of vegetables or rice.

I even managed to do some baking from Mum’s recipe book which I was very pleased with and it went down well at the Lions working bee.

So to anyone else who has been or is ailing, feel better soon.

Mood and Food

8 Jul

It is interesting how we respond to moods. I have been feeling a little blue today and as the day progressed I found myself looking for comfort which I usually seek in food. I thought about what I wanted and decided I didn’t have it so would bake it. I pulled out Mum’s recipe book because those foods ensure comfort, don’t they?

I whipped up one of Mum’s cakes, not knowing what it would look like but as I took it out of the oven I thought “I remember that!” It wasn’t the cake that Mum makes, it flopped in fact and I will have to talk to her about why but I could still eat it and proceeded to do so.

Now, this was supposed to make me feel better and it did to a point. The problem with doing this of course is that if you have regular blue periods and eat to cheer yourself up then weight problems will follow.

So, what do we do after we have had a bit of a binge? Just get back to your regular diet. There is no need to starve yourself or detox or cleanse, none of those will help and do your body more harm. I have found that by losing the guilt over a binge and going back to eating normally that I have less frequent binges and my weight is actually fairly stable. Give it a try.

obesity

2 Jul

Again obesity is in the headlines, an epidemic. I blame the multi million dollar industries of diet and junk food.

It is not necessary to be on a strict diet to have a healthy weight. “Junk” food is not your enemy. Most of us enjoy a potato chip or a cream cake and there is nothing wrong with that unless…..you eat it all the time.

In this day of instant gratification we all believe we can have what we want when we want it. Well, that doesn’t work. If you want to have your cake and eat it too then you are not going to look like a movie star.

I blame the baby boomers again, the belief that indulgence is good. This era is coming to an end and we are swinging back to a time of frugality. We can no longer afford to indulge ourselves every day. Cut back to once a week and it is ok for now. It will save you money and help control weight at the same time.

If you cut back on what you eat then you can fit into last years wardrobe.

Now I am not in the position of being able to preach on this. I have always been a bit pudgy, been on many diets, had my weight see-saw. I still struggle to keep it down but I know how to do it now and if I decide to lose some weight then I know what to do and it is easy to do.

To start take 1/2 of what is on your plate and put it aside for tomorrow and finish with an apple. Then alcohol is a big one. For effective weight loss this is gone for the duration. Try soda water or mineral water with some lemon juice. It is all about fresh. Fresh fruit, fresh vegetables. NO processed foods, this includes hamburgers, chips, cakes and biscuits. The easy one for me is soft drink or soda. I don’t drink it at any time, I don’t like it so don’t miss it. I would like to be able to tell you how to achieve this but don’t recall other than two things, it is full of petroleum and expensive, both of which I avoid.

You don’t need to look like a movie star but you don’t want to look like a sumo wrestler either. Good health means a healthy weight, healthy heart and a longer life.

Now, go back and look at my recipe tips and start enjoying your food, it is your friend now so you don’t want to abuse it.

My feeling, my responsibility

27 Jun

It is a strange thing to find that I have nothing to say. Having published 30 posts it seems I have cleared my mind of its logjam and my head is now clear.

Actually this is quite true. I am much calmer for having expressed myself. I sleep really well most nights and recognise that most of my feelings about my family come from jealousy.

Everyone was talking about my brother the other day and I realised that what I was feeling was jealousy and it always had been. It is interesting that the same brother feels that in the family he is nothing. He explains it this way, there are four of us; the oldest, the youngest, the daughter and him who is nothing. I can tell him he is the comedian.

This means I have to take responsibility for how I feel. Confronting such feelings is not easy, especially when you have lived with them, un-acknowledged, for many years. It colours all my interactions with my family, I have to think about how I respond to many conversations. Again i am in the positions of looking withdrawn/aloof from everyone because I am considering my reaction and adjusting it as per my acknowledged negative feeling, to be more positive.

This all goes back to where I thought I should be the centre of attention and if I am not then I am not loved. What a stupid thought! Reverse it, if someone else is not the centre of attention, I don’t feel less love for them than whomever is front and centre. Therefore I am back to my initial thought from when I returned home. Wait to find out where I fit in. Patience. Just being there and showing love will get me to where I want to be.

More cooking for one

19 Jun

There is really one thing to remember if you are cooking as I am suggesting, that is to ensure what you cook can be frozen.

Buying and cooking in bulk saves both time and money but you also need simple recipes. I am now thinking about those singles who think they cannot cook. Here is a simple recipe for you;

Slice 500g meat into bite size pieces. Slice one brown onion +or- 1 clove garlic.

Use large saucepan on high heat, add 20 to 30 ml or 1 oz of oil or butter, when hot add onion and garlic and stir until it starts to soften (about 2 mins). Add meat and brown well, stirring frequently. At this time you may wish to drain off any fat in pan for a leaner dish, it will not affect flavour. Now add 1 jar of pasta sauce. Any sauce will do, any flavour, any brand, something you like. Mix in well, lower the heat so the sauce just bubbles (simmer) and allow to cook for at least one hour. This will allow the meat to cook and the flavour to absorb. If it looks to be drying out, add 1/2 cup water as required. It is now ready to serve over your choice of steamed vegetables.

This is a quick and simple dish that can be added to as you choose to experiment. I like to add things like red wine, dry herbs, even sliced vegetables which makes it like a chow mein.

Exercise

4 Jun

This is a follow on to “ennui”. It is a solution worth considering. I have stated that I have some structure in my day now and am looking for some work to complete it. In the mean time I still have some time on my hands. I tell people that I can give help if they want but no-one believes me. The thinking is if they are busy, so is everyone else.

So, when I woke this morning I knew that I had a fairly empty day. To fill it up I decided I would go for a walk. I have been for a few around the neighbourhood and found some pleasant places, today was a bit further as I had more time.

It helps when the sky is blue and the sun warm. I would be very reluctant if it was grey and windy so there is another solution to this. Wii! Yes, I have it and the fit program can be quite entertaining. I sometimes take a walk/jog and sometimes ride the bike.

The point is that I have no excuse to not exercise. I feel good when I do because it releases endorphins and I know I have done something good for me. It also entertains, I see something different each time I go out, walk a different street or just see a pretty flower that was not in bloom before.

Therefore I am promising myself that I will exercise whenever I am feeling bored. No more ennui for me.