Connecting with family

5 Jun

I have had mostly positive experiences with family lately. Only the birthday party has not been. Even then I saw it through different eyes. When I think about my aunties, they don’t really come to our family do’s anymore as they have enough of there own as families extend and the younger generation are married with their own children. I have to accept that I am the tolerated “spinster” aunt. May be I should become eccentric!

It was uplifting when my nephew was talking about me taking part in the birth of his child and his wife was asking me to be available as they are lacking confidence in the medical team. It was nice to be asked after his brother and wife wanted nothing to do with my skills.

I have put myself in the position of  being tolerated by my family because I have deigned to come home. It is up to me to change that without pushing myself in. I figure if I am there and helping when I can then it will get better, won’t it?

I find it really difficult to be open to whatever they are offering without being hurt by the offer not being there. I need to lower my expectations, then maybe it will hurt less.

So, I will be patient and grateful whenever I get to participate. I would say it was my choice to not have a family of my own but really it was that I am not made out for that sort of relationship. That is life.

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